sorry Mickey D's, we were here first!

We don't need your crunchy salty double-done french fries to give us high bp and kill us. We have what we call mixture, shev, boondi, chatpata and so on... and have been furiously nibbling on it twice a day or so for bloody ages. Long before your irresistible fries landed on our shores and tried to penetrate our pallet.

We don't need your cheesy greasy hamburgers to get us addicted to fast food nation wide. We already have pakoras, bondas, bhaji, samosas, cutlets and god knows what else to lubricate our innards with enough goop to rewrite the laws of viscosity.

And we don't need coca cola and the rest of your sticky shicky to get type 2 3 4 and 5 diabetes and die of a massive coronary. We have invented just as many sweets as we have gods, dozens over in each tiny pocket of our gluttoned land, and we unbeknown to many are not just the largest producer of sugar in the world but the largest consumer. How's that for yet another world record that rides on our demographic dividend!

So come on down mickey dickey and try to make a dent in our health. With any luck you'll just about be able to take credit for a few coughs, chokes, farts and yacks, but surely not our heart attacks and profoundly generational food addictions.

Welcome to our land of firsts. We invented 0 where it all started. And we invented heart attacks where it all ends :)